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Consensual Non-Monogamy:

Open Relationship & Polyamory Counseling

If you’re in an open relationship, polyamorous, or exploring consensual non-monogamy (CNM), you’re in the right place. I offer non-judgmental, trauma-informed counselling for individuals, couples, and multi-partner constellations—online and in Berlin.

Many people come to me because they don’t want to justify their relationship style or get stuck in endless “big debates.” You don’t have to defend anything here. We focus on what’s happening in your life—and what would make things more workable.

 

What you might want help with

Your topic can be very specific or hard to pin down. Both are welcome. Common themes in polyamory counselling and open relationship counseling include:

  • Agreements that no longer fit: What still applies? What was said casually but never clarified?

  • Jealousy, comparison, insecurity: How do you handle it without control, pressure, or shutdown?

  • Different needs around opening up: One person wants more openness; the other feels unsure or opposed.

  • Multiple partners, higher complexity: Wanting more clarity, fewer misunderstandings, less “side conflict.”

  • Disclosure and stigma: Family, friends, workplace—how “out” do you want to be, and with whom?

  • Sex, intimacy, desire: Changing libido, mismatched expectations, new dynamics—without shame or drama.

You don’t need a perfect model or label. It’s enough to say: “The way it’s going right now doesn’t feel good.”

 

How counseling can help

This isn’t about forcing a specific relationship structure. It’s about helping you create a version of CNM/polyamory that is clear, consensual, and emotionally sustainable.

In sessions, we can work on:

  • Putting words to difficult topics (needs, fears, boundaries) without escalation

  • Separating core needs from protective strategies (fear, habit, avoidance, control)

  • Making agreements concrete: understandable, realistic, and reviewable

  • Building better repair after conflict: how to reconnect after triggers and misunderstandings

  • Reducing “endless talking”: choosing the next workable step instead of looping

  • In multi-partner constellations: ensuring nobody gets overridden and responsibilities stay clear

I won’t promise a “solution in X sessions.” But I work very practically: What’s the next sensible step—and how do you implement it so it holds up in daily life?

 

How I work

My work draws on systemic counselling, attachment-informed perspectives, and a sex-positive / sex therapy lens, tailored to your situation. Sometimes the work is about rules and logistics. Sometimes it’s about shame, loyalty conflicts, triggers, old experiences, or fear of loss. Often it’s connected.

The aim is not perfection. The aim is more clarity, less pressure, and more choice.

 

Who I work with

I support:

  • Individuals (sorting your needs, boundaries, and patterns)

  • Couples exploring or living CNM/open relationship agreements

  • Poly constellations / multi-partner relationships (when it’s helpful and manageable)

Sometimes it’s best to start with individual sessions before joint work. Sometimes one shared session immediately reduces misunderstanding. We decide together.

 

Boundaries and when additional assessment is important

This is psychological/therapeutic counselling—not medical treatment.

Please seek medical evaluation for physical symptoms, especially:

  • pain during sex or persistent pelvic/genital pain

  • bleeding, signs of infection, or sudden physical changes

  • severe sleep problems, panic symptoms, substance use, self-harm, or suicidal thoughts

If there is acute danger, please contact emergency services or local crisis support immediately.

 

How it works
  • Free initial call (about 20 minutes): We clarify what’s going on, who should join, and whether this is a good fit.

  • Sessions (50 minutes): Online; Berlin appointments may be possible depending on availability and your setting.

  • Rhythm: Weekly or every two weeks.

  • Confidentiality & privacy: Sessions are confidential; I explain privacy practices transparently.

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References​

 

Schechinger, H. A., Sakaluk, J. K., & Moors, A. C. (2018). Harmful and helpful therapy practices with consensually non-monogamous clients: Toward an inclusive framework. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 86(11), 879–891. https://doi.org/10.1037/ccp0000349

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Vaughan, M. D., Jones, P., Taylor, B. A., & Roush, J. (2019). Healthcare experiences and needs of consensually non-monogamous people: Results from a focus group study. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 16(1), 42–51. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jsxm.2018.11.006

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Moors, A. C., Gesselman, A. N., & Garcia, J. R. (2021). Desire, familiarity, and engagement in polyamory: Results from a national sample of single adults in the United States. Frontiers in Psychology, 12, 619640. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.619640

 

Moors, A. C., Matsick, J., & Schechinger, H. A. (2017). Unique and shared relationship benefits of consensually non-monogamous and monogamous relationships: A review and insights for moving forward. European Psychologist, 22(1), 55–71. https://doi.org/10.1027/1016-9040/a000278

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Moors, A. C., Conley, T. D., Edelstein, R. S., & Chopik, W. J. (2015). Attached to monogamy? Avoidance predicts willingness to engage (but not actual engagement) in consensual non-monogamy. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 32(2), 222–240. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407514529065

 

Anderson, J. R. (2025). Countering the monogamy-superiority myth: A meta-analysis of differences in relationship satisfaction and sexual satisfaction as a function of relationship orientation. The Journal of Sex Research. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2025.2462988 (PMID: 40126203)

 

Scoats, R., & Campbell, C. (2022). What do we know about consensual non-monogamy? Current Opinion in Psychology, 48, 101468. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.copsyc.2022.101468 (PMID: 36215906)

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Mahar, E. A., Irving, L. H., Derovanesian, A., Masterson, A., & Webster, G. D. (2024). Stigma toward consensual non-monogamy: Thematic analysis and minority stress. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 50(4), 571-586. https://doi.org/10.1177/01461672221139086 

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Gupta, S., Tarantino, M., & Sanner, C. (2024). A scoping review of research on polyamory and consensual non‐monogamy: Implications for a more inclusive family science. Journal of Family Theory & Review, 16(2), 151-190. https://doi.org/10.1111/jftr.12546

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FAQ​

 
Do I have to be polyamorous or in an open relationship for this to fit?​

No. Many people are mid-process: curious, ambivalent, or overwhelmed. You don’t need a label. We work with what’s present right now—and at a pace that’s doable.

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Do you work with multi-partner constellations?

Yes, when it fits the goal and feels workable. Sometimes a joint session helps negotiate agreements directly; sometimes it’s better to clarify individually first. We decide in the initial call.

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What if one person wants to open the relationship and the other doesn’t?

That’s common and often emotionally tender. The focus usually isn’t “convincing,” but understanding what’s underneath—freedom, closeness, fear, boundaries, past experiences—so decisions become clearer without pressure.​

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Is online counseling effective for CNM and polyamory?

For many topics, yes. Agreements, communication patterns, and relationship dynamics often work well online. A private space and stable connection help; practical solutions are possible if needed.​

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How confidential is this when multiple people are involved?

Sessions are confidential. In multi-person work, we also clarify how you want to handle information from individual sessions—so no one is surprised later and trust is protected.

Memberships:
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Contact

Thank you!

Location Prenzlauer Berg :
Christburger Strasse 9, 10405 Berlin

Location City West (near Ku'damm) :
Düsseldorfer Str. 8, 10719 Berlin

E-mail:

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